Travelling | The Gremlins Umbrella Authority

The Worlds Biggest Bungee Jump

September 17, 2009 | Written by -GRUMBA- | Topic: Travelling | Comments (0)

You may be wondering as to why I have not posted in a week or so. The reason is, I have been in Switzerland with a good friend, doing the worlds biggest bungee jump.

It may seem in some respects, and to some people, a waste of time, and money to fly to a foreign country for 8 seconds of freefall, however I kid you not, the exhilaration alone is worth every penny.

We flew directly into Geneva, where we spent 2 days. Here we met some interesting people, experienced to swiss bars, and smoked a bit of shisha (as you do). We then proceeded to get on a train to Locarno (Around 5 hours East). The train ticket cost £80GBP (there and back), however doing it this way still worked out significantly cheaper than flying direct to Locarno. We spent a day in Locarno, then did the bungee jump, and then returned to Geneva. It was awesome.

The worlds biggest bungee jump is at the Verzasca Dam, Locarno, Switzerland. It weighs in at a whopping 220m, boasting 8 seconds of freefall. I wanted to do this jump, as after doing the Nevis Bungee in NZ, I developed a bungee addiction.

I created four videos of our trip: one of each of our jumps, one of both our jumps, and one of a random squeeky man.
So you dont have to watch a whole minute of video, I will only embed the ‘both’ one, however the others can be seen at Clowestab on Youtube.

Now watching that video, you may be thinking that you have seen that before. That is because you have ! This is the most famous bungee in the world, after it was featured on 007 Goldeneye back in 1998. That is why it is called the Goldeneye jump. It is not very reassuring to hear before doing the jump, but sadly the stunt man who did the jump for Goldeneye actually died. None the less here is the video for your viewing pleasure.

So.. would you do it?

Traveling in Australia

August 9, 2009 | Written by -GRUMBA- | Topic: Travelling | Comments (0)

Australia is a big country. If you intend to see it all, you will have to set aside some serious time, and save up some serious cash.

I took the easy route, and visited the lazy traveler destination: The East Coast.

I landed in Brisbane, and slowly got myself together (I was extremely tired having gotten no sleep). I hopped on a train into the center, and walked the short distance to the hostel I’d found info on in the airport. I was in for the shock of the century, when the bloke behind the desk asked for $34 for 1 nights accommodation.. for some reason I was still in ‘Thai mode’, and was expecting him to say $4. I soon got used to the price differences, I had no choice.

In Brisbane I met some cool people.. a hosteler who had just realized it was a waste of money to pay for a bed when you could (and he did) stay with his girlfriend for free, a slightly creepy Swiss guy, and an awesome Brit (not surprising).

Whilst in Brisbane I went on the Seacats (their ferry system), visited the outer city Botanical gardens, went to the infamous Powerhouse (where I saw some cracking Stand-up), visited the ‘XXXX’ brewery (where apparently 6 people on get 6 figure salaries to taste beer daily), visited Southbank, and saw various museums.

Something I really suggest you do is to take the bus up to Mt Coot-tha, and take a look at the amazing city panorama.

Another thing I really feel is worth a look is the Brisbane casino. I attempted to get in on three occasions. The first I could not because I was wearing shorts, the second time I was wearing flip flops, and then on the third occasion within 5 minutes I had lost $40. This was over the course of three days, because in principle although it is easy to go and buy shoes, trust my luck, it was Anzac day, and everywhere was closed.

Whilst in Brisbane I received an email from my mother. “Tom, whilst you are in Australia make sure you go to the ‘Great Barrier Reef’”. Oh Yeh ! I thought as I rushed to one of the tourist information shops. I then proceeded to ask how much a ticket to the reef was, to which the response was “The Great Barrier Reef is 2000km long !”
The other thing my mother mentioned was that my grandparents had based themselves with our relatives in Sydney, and gone to the GBR. In retrospect, I am not quite sure who is more retarded (with all due respect), my mother for… well… her idiocy, or me for being equally naive.

In the end, I did not go simply due to a lack of time and money. I did however book a trip to Moreton Island which is an awesome place. I met some really cool people, and did some amazing stuff. I caught a fish in my bare hands whilst snorkeling through wrecks, and I went sandboarding.

My next stop was Byron Bay. The beaches here were nice to say the least. Again I met some cool people, mainly Ben from LA, USA (Small world). He was an awesome guy, and put me in my place many a time with regards to my general attitude towards life.

During my time here, I saw an amazing fire show of which the finale accidentally involved a 15 year old girl setting her hair on fire (and not realizing), I visited the infamous Cheeky Monkies, and I saw grown men walking around only wearing cling film (unfortunately).

I also utilized Byron as a base for a trip to Nimbin. If you have not heard of Nimbin, I suggest you google it. The instant I got on the bus I realized that the driver was more than likely coked up. He was awesome, as well as all the people on the bus. At first everyone was extremely quiet on the bus, thus our driver stopped and forced us to buy alcohol.. you were not allowed back on the bus unless you had a minimum of 4 beers. Overall an awesome day of alcohol, waterfalls, BBQ, and ‘Tom Midgeley’. A must do if you are anywhere near the area.

Back on the greyhound I went, and off I went to Coffs Harbor. I had booked no accommodation in advance up until this point, but on a whim I borrowed a phone, and booked my accommodation here. It is a small place, and I was right. Had I not booked, I would have been sleeping on the streets. I met an awesome Brit (Tim), who had a freaky confidence with women, I went to a little market, went on a bike ride, explored the general area, and visited ‘The Big Banana’. Coffs Harbor is not the most exciting place in the world, but it is definitely chilled out.

My final Aussie stop was Sydney, where I ended up spending 10 days. I planned this as I had free accommodation with my great aunt, and uncle (who I had never met before). This is one of my trip regrets. If you travel do NOT stay with relatives.. yes it is free, and yes they were awesome people but I felt slightly hindered by it. I was out of the city.. I could not meet people.. I could not viably go out. Case and point. Furthermore had I not made this decision, I could have visited the Great Barrier Reef, because turns out Sydney is really boring. There is not 10 days worth of entertainment in Sydney.

The obvious plus side to staying with relatives was that they were awesome people, the gorgeous food, barbeques, and beers etc
Also given that my great aunt and uncle had lived in AUS for numerous years, their knowledge was awesome. I got to visit Cronulla, a small beachside town, where I went on a scenic boat ride (in the rain) amongst other things. This is also the place where I saw an extremely unique sight, rats on a beach.

In addition although I was on the other side of the world, yet given our British routes my great aunts daughter had gone to the effort of getting a video of the ‘Doctor Who’ easter special posted out… Dedication.

Syndey Harbor Bridge and the Opera House are worth seeing. The beaches are rubbish out of season. Bondi Beach was basically empty. Manley beach is by far the nicest beach in Sydney, and Manly is a great place in general. I did go and see a lot of museums to fill the time, but it was only at the end of my time in AUS that I realized how much I dislike museums. I took a trip into the Blue Mountains, which is really impressive. We visited a wildlife park, and fed some Koalas/Roos, then we saw the Three Sisters before we went on the steepest railway in the world (which is steep).

Again to demonstrate my naivety. Prior to landing in Australia, I was under the assumption that it was hot all year around. Do not make that mistake. Australia can, and does get very very cold.

Best Bits: Nimbin, and Tim getting rejected by two girls with the line: “We are actually only 15, and our parents our waiting for us”.

Regrets: Not seeing the Great Barrier Reef, or visiting Cairns.

Oh, and while you are there… taste Kangaroo !

Traveling in Singapore

July 30, 2009 | Written by -GRUMBA- | Topic: Travelling | Comments (0)

Singapore is an interesting, and exciting place. A world apart from Thailand, even though it is only a few hours away in a plane.
Singapore is a well developed country. Economically, and socially. It does however have a lot of variety, considering it is only a small place.

The first night in Singapore, I stayed at Andys as I had to pick up my new debit cards (having lost them in Hong Kong). It was here that I found out a few fun facts.

i) In Singapore, it is illegal to have standing water as it attracts mosquitoes. Swimming pools for example must be kept moving.
ii) Chewing gum is illegal in Singapore.

Interesting huh?!

I then proceeded to head over to ‘Little India’ where I stayed for the rest of my time in Singapore. When I arrived there I literally had to push my way through masses of Indian people filling the streets. It turns out there was no special event going on… rather the Indians only get Sundays off, and thus Sunday is essentially party day for them.

The hostel I stayed at was The Inn Crowd. This was the first place I had experienced with dormitory style accommodation, and boy did they define it: 16+ people in bunk beds, mixed sex, 2 pathetic air con units, and sweltering Singapore heat. What I am basically saying is the sleeping arrangements offered by this hostel sucked BUT I did meet loads of cool people, they do offer free Internet, and the staff are really helpful. If you want the ‘traveler’ experience I’d definitely recommend it.

As far as things to do in Singapore… I visited both Merlions, the infamous symbol of Singapore. One is on the ‘mainland’, the other on Sentosa Island. I recommend a visit to Sentosa, which is easily reached on the sky train. It is essentially a theme park wannabee, money making, island thingy. Lots of attractions like a butterfly park, luging (which is amazingly fun), walks, bike rides, theatrical shows (Sounds of the Sea), and more.

I also visited Jurong Bird Park, which is really cool.. lots of cool birds, various hands on stuff, shows etc BUT by far the best attraction in my opinion is Singapore zoo… arguably the best in the world. I went to the night zoo/show, and it was awesome. It basically involved seeing an astonishing show involving fire, and semi naked men/women, followed my a show which involved ‘night creatures’ climbing all over you. In addition to this, there is a 45 minute train ride which takes you around showing you loads of cool animals in their nocturnal habitats, and numerous walking tracks if that takes your fancy. Well worth it.

Something that may be of interest.. I bought a pretty nice camera in Singapore, but, word of warning, you need to be careful where, and who you buy from as there are a lot of known scams/cons. I bought a camera because I needed one.. my phone camera was not doing my trip justice. If you are in a similar position I have been told that Thailand is your best bet for cheap electronics…. typical that I had just left there.

Singapore is a very cool place, quay side restaurants (including hooters), activities (such as jet boating), things to see, stuff to do, nice beaches, and good weather BUT I would say that I think Singapore is a 1 week kind of place. You don’t need any longer, and I can imagine it would get boring if you stayed any longer.

Either way, Singapore must be experienced.

Travelling in Thailand

July 23, 2009 | Written by -GRUMBA- | Topic: Travelling | Comments (0)

First thing to know. If you fly into Bangkok Aiport (AKA Suvarnabhumi Airport), then you are about an hours taxi drive from much of interest. Fortunately that taxi drive is relatively cheap (around 400baht/£8GBP/$12USD).

The first half of Thailand was not much fun for me. We met up with another friend (Charlie) on Kao San Road. This road is backpackers central. If you ever get lost in Bangkok, this is the place you want to be. We spent a few days here which consisted mainly of drinking, smoking, and charlie getting dreadlocks.
We then utilized a series of tuk tuks, taxis, and the sky train to travel to Nana, in central Bangkok. We stayed in a very nice hostel which was very cheap, and very comfortable (including awesome aircon, and free breakfast. Check it out: Suk 11.

At this point doing nothing, and doing nothing was getting tedious. I did not travel half way around the world to drink, and smoke on a rooftop, and then sleep all day. Eventually I got off my arse and went off alone.
Tip Travel alone. It took me a few weeks to work it out.. a few weeks of feeling shit. I took the plunge, and had an awesome time. Being alone means you HAVE to meet people, and most of the time you meet many more, and significantly more interesting people than those you are with.

In Bangkok I visited the Golden Palace, and saw the Golden Buddha. These are MUST see things. I met up with some mates from home and experienced the nightlife too. Nana plaza is a fun night out… 3 floors of strip clubs… we found a little haunt on the 3rd floor with a bucking bronco and hot thai strippers doing unspeakable things to one another in return for ping pong balls.

N.B This is NOT the infamous ping pong show. I never went, and I advise you dont… Sounds rough.

Fun Tip: Ping pong balls are essentially tips for thai strippers… they have some arrangement with their employers.
Fun Tip?: You can buy almost any local woman in Thailand (as sad as that may be)

I headed down to the Koh Phangan for the infamous Full Moon Party. I went with Andy & Charlie, although I essentially did it on my own. The day before the party we went to Mushroom mountain which sells what it sounds like it sells. This was an experience for me, but not so much because of the bad company.
The day of the party put simply, got very drunk very early, was sick….. so I got straight back on the booze ! Danced with a Thai girl, and at around 2am heard those dreaded words “Tom, That is a man !”. Now in my defence it was NOT, I did my checks… but it still scared me shitless.
I passed out at 4am, and woke up at 9am with people dancing around me. I to this day do not know how, but I still had all my possessions on me…

Tip: Do the following tests with any thai ‘woman’ (better to be safe than sorry). Adams apple?, Voice?, Big Hands?, Big Feet?, Hairy?, BALLS?!

After the party I went off alone (for real). I went up North to Had Yao: the most idyllic beach I have ever seen. 1 mile of golden sand, lined with little beach huts, and gorgeous warm blue sea. Fresh seafood barbecques every night, awesome people, and awesome bars. Out of anywhere in the world, you HAVE to go here.

Top Moment: Being propositioned by a 60 odd year old Sweedish woman to pretend I was her lover to annoy her friends.

I headed to the port on Koh Phangan for Songkran: Thai new year. They celebrate it with a massive waterfight.. literally everyone on the island meets here, and anialates each other with water (hot + freezing). The children like to come around and put deep heat on your face to burn you ! An amazing experience.

Top Moment: A woman in an armani dress walking down the street exclaiming “I am not playing”. Stupid !

After this I headed over to Koh Samui for a music festival. Long story short… as I had lost my wallet in HK, my parents were sending money by Moneygram. I did not realise that all the banks were closed on Songkran, and thus It was not fun on an island you do not know, with no money. The music festival was not great.

After this I headed over to Phuket. I did a tour, and visited some awesome places including James bond island. There are an abundance of awesome islands to visit around here including Phi Phi island (from ‘The Beach’).

In Thailand, I did 3 main areas. To get between them I went on bus/boat. Buses are cheap, but painful. 17 hours on a bus with no air conditioning, no legroom, nasty toilets etc sucks. You can talk to the people… but try talking to the same people for 17 hours. Id do a 5 hour bus just for the conversation, but 17 is too much.
From Koh Phangan to Phuket was meant to be a 7 hour bus. The Thai are BAD with timings. It took 14+. Now all I will say… after about 5 hours I got the most horrendous abdominal pains (food poisoning). Be careful… the driver spoke no English, and did not understand ‘Toilet’. That journey sucked.

Tip: On the topic of food poisoning.. people warn you to be careful with Thai street food. It is nice. Do you due diligence, and you should be fine. I got food poisoning off McDonalds…. put it that way.

Thai scams are pretty common. They are not the most integral people in the world. Thus a few things to be aware of.
- If you rent a motorbike and/or car be very careful. They often take your passport as deposit, and then wont return it until you pay vast sums of money claiming you scratched/broke various parts.
- In taxis demand a set price before hand, and haggle for your life. With meters they rip you off… they drive you around the block 10 times etc etc
They don’t like set prices but it saves you a lot of money. We mastered haggling.
- Be careful. There is a lot of collaboration with the police. Do NOT buy drugs. People sell it to you, phone up the cops. You get imprisoned, and an extortionate fine.. the seller gets his drugs back and a commission !!

If I was going to Thailand again, Id spend my whole time on the beaches of Koh Phangan. Im serious.

Travelling to Hong Kong

July 16, 2009 | Written by -GRUMBA- | Topic: Travelling | Comments (3)

Hong Kong was new. I had never traveled anywhere outside of England on my own, and thus making my way to London, and getting onto a 12 hour flight into the abyss was surprisingly scary. Little did I know that I would do most of my ‘learning’ during my 1 week stay in HK.

Having spent 12 hours on a plane, I waited a further 3 hours for my friend Andy in the airport. He was on a different flight.
My first tip: synchronize flights well because waiting on your own in a foreign country is extremely tedious.

We had booked our accommodation in advance at the ‘Yes Inn’. We followed the printed out directions, and made our way there. Unfortunately (as we later found out) they could not afford to pay for a sign on the building. Their offices were on the 5th floor of a block in the center of Hong Kong, and they had no sign !
Tip 2: Do not carry more than 10kg around the world. It is hard deciding what to take, but you will thank me in the long run. Everything you pack, you have to carry…. whilst you look for unmarked accommodation !

Hong Kong is a nice place. It is a city, and therefore it follows that it is busy. They have a completely different culture to the UK. If you are expecting a bunch of really friendly, hospitable people, and a load of road side cafes you are in the wrong place. I to this day do not know what I expected but I went in to every country prepared for a different culture, and boy did I get it.

I do not like Hong Kong food. They like their ‘cooked on the street, chickens with heads on’ style of cooking, and that is not for me. Fortunately there are an abundance of KFCs, McDonalds, and Burger Kings.
On one occasion we did enter a street side market which sold what seemed like every possible time of animal. This include frogs, pigeons, fish, snails etc etc Problem was they were all living, and being killed on the spot. I like fresh food, but food where you can still see the heart beating is a little too fresh. Furthermore they wonder why avian flu was a problem…

The people are evil. It is more than likely the cultural differences, but my experiences of the people were as follows: They WILL NOT move out the way of tourists, even if you are 7ft 9 and 600 pounds; They like shouting (even though you cannot understand them); and they WILL surprise you (see Burning Woman. These statements are not meant to cause offense, it is merely my honest opinion from first hand experience.

We spent some time looking around Hong Kong. We admired the architecture. We learned about the history: it was developed by the British, and then handed back to the Chinese. We visited the Walk of Fame. The main reason however for which we came to Hong Kong was the Rugby Sevens tournament.

Picture the scene: rugby sevens day one. We find the stadium. We go back to the room, I have left my glasses. We return to the stadium, and attempt to enter the ‘South Stand’. I am denied entry because I need my passport to verify my age, a UK Driving license is not acceptable. Eventually with a bit of small talk, and trickery we both get in, and the drinking commences….

We drunk a LOT of alcohol. We both had a large jug of beer at every instant. We smoked, we drunk, and we chatted to people. Fast forward 5 hours: we have watched 10 minutes of rugby, we are extremely intoxicated (to such an extent that Andy is meeting random people by asking them if they know ‘Insert Made Up Name Here’).

During this time we meet some heroic characters including ‘Tom Midgley’, owner of ‘Cafe Paradiso’ (If you read this Tom, please drop me an email), as well as a group of upper class, under age girls (whom we were more than happy to buy alcohol for). We also met a group of Londoners after hearing one shout ‘Lets go and f***ing kill him’ !

Fast forward again. After heading out to the infamous ‘Wan Chai’ amongst other places, and having all our drinks paid for by our newly found friends we headed back home, unable to walk/see. Long story short I proceeded to throw all my money at the taxi driver and run off because I could not count. Little did I realize I had given him about 40x too much, and had also left my wallet on the seat (which contained our tickets for the other two days). I will never know if he was shouting in anger or to inform me of the left wallet…

Tip Three... don’t get insanely drunk, don’t take everything you own out in your wallet, and even though you may look like a dick get a chain to chain your wallet to your person.

The trip could never be brilliant after this point. Trying to find a wallet in vain with a massive hangover and 0 hours sleep sucks. Working out how to get money when I had lost my wallet was a mission also. Moral is.. always have an emergency bank card, and don’t keep both cards together.

Eventually we found the funny side of it, I got my life back on track, and we had some fun.
A trip to Hong Kong must involve a night out in Wan Chai, and a night out in Lan Kwai Fong.

Most memorable moment? Trying to get into a bar which cost £30GBP without paying by trying to crawl under the managers legs and running into the lifts.

Travelling around the world.

July 14, 2009 | Written by -GRUMBA- | Topic: Travelling | Comments (0)

On July 7th 2009 I arrived back in London (Heathrow) having completed over 3 months of traveling.
No single word, or group of words can do justice to the trip… it was an ‘experience’ to say the least.

So where did I go?
You know you have seen a lot when a shortened list with no explanation takes up multiple lines.
I went to Hong Kong for 1 week, Thailand for 3 weeks, Singapore for 1 week, Australia for 3 weeks, New Zealand for 3 weeks, and the USA for 1 month. Admittedly I did not visit Africa, or South America. Furthermore although I live in Britain I have yet to properly experience Europe.

A detailed write up of my experiences in each place will be coming soon. If you want to know my ‘Top 10′ must dos, as well as things to avoid, then keep an eye out.

For now I direct you to my newly released photo blog Double Negative.
During my trip I took in excess of 3,000 photos. Consider the fact that for a month of the trip I only had the camera on my mobile phone and I essentially took 50 photos every day.
It is a cliche, but photos do speak louder than words, and thus I have spent the last week sorting my photos and creating a log of my travels. I have condensed 3000+ photos down to 180 or so which I feel fully represent where I have been, and what I have done.

I would greatly appreciate it if you take a look, and perhaps even leave a comment.